Saskatchewan Federation of Police Officers 35 • If women really wanted to leave a violent relationship, they could: Abused women are faced with the reality of severe physical assault or even death when attempting to leave. Immigrant women face further barriers to leaving, including lack of support network, language barriers, economic dependency, and fear of jeopardizing her immigration status. • If men are violent with their partners, they are likely violent in all their relationships: Men who abuse their partners may appear to be charming and pleasant in other situations, like with coworkers or friends. At home, they may justify their use of violence to control and subordinate their partner. • Immigrant and refugee women do not seek help because their background or culture allows abuse: Violence against women takes place in every country and culture in the world. Assuming that one specific culture accepts violence is a generalization, and a dangerous one. CYCLE OF ABUSE No two women are abused in the same way, and the violence a woman experiences can be unpredictable, but there are observed patterns and similarities in abusive relationships. The Cycle of Abuse was first described by Lenore Walker (1979) in her book The Battered Woman. This cycle is used by many service providers to explain that D/IPV is rarely an isolated incident and may follow a pattern similar to the one shown below. The cycle of abuse can cover a long or short period of time and the pattern may be specific to the relationship. Eventually, the tension builds up again, resulting in another period of abuse followed by the honeymoon phase. With repeated cycles, the violence will often get worse, and the honeymoon phase will shorten or even disappear (Government of New Brunswick, 2014). • Tension building: The abuser may verbally harass their partner, and may be afraid their partner will leave them resulting in more possessiveness, jealousy and aggression. The partner often tries to do anything to keep the peace. Partners will often make excuses for the abuser’s behaviour. There may be anger, blaming and arguing1. • D/IPV incident: The abuser may be unpredictable and appear to be out of control. The abuse is not necessarily physical and may include intimidation or humiliation1. • Honeymoon phase: The abuser may ask for forgiveness or state that it will never happen again, and may appear to be calm and loving. The partners will often feel guilty about leaving their abuser and often hope that the abuser will change1. 1 Stop Violence against Women (2018). Cycle of violence Retrieved from http://www.domesticviolenceinfo.ca/article/cycle-of-violence189.asp The Cycle of Abuse, adapted from Walker
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