97 Saskatchewan Federation of Police Officers How can you identify and help older adults at risk (continued) 6. Physical Abuse “My husband pulls my hair when he is angry and yells that I don’t listen to him. He has always yelled at me, but he never used to hurt me.” “I am not as independent as I used to be. I need help with certain tasks. My daughter helps me, but I am ashamed to admit that sometimes she shakes me and even hits me.” “My younger brother and I live together. He has always had a temper. Recently when he was drinking, he pushed me against the wall a couple of times.” It is physical abuse if somebody hits an older adult or handles the person roughly, even if there is no injury. WARNING SIGNS: If you suspect abuse, look for: • Older adults who tell you they are being abused or hurt - believe them • Injuries such as bruises, sprains, broken bones, scratches, especially when the explanation does not fit the injury • Changes in behaviour of the older adult such as depression, withdrawal, fear • Changes in regular social activity such as missing church or other social events • Changes in living arrangements such as previously uninvolved relatives or new friends moving in • Changes in financial situations such as cancellation of service (e.g. television, Internet, phone) because the bills are not paid, things “disappearing” from the house • Signs of neglect such as no food in the house, being left alone for long periods of time, not having glasses or hearing aids that are needed, not having proper clothing WARNING SIGNS: If you suspect abusive behaviour, look for: • Controlling behaviour • Not allowing an older adult the right to freely make decisions and choices • Refusing to allow them to visit with anyone alone • Isolating them from friends and family • Using the “silent treatment” to control the older adult • Not allowing them to use the phone • Disregard for their privacy • Locks on the outside of the bedroom door • Reading or withholding their mail • Handling all of the money • Blaming the older adult for the abuse: It’s your fault that I pushed you. • A strong sense of entitlement: I can do whatever I want / you owe me. • Treating the older adult like a child: Do what I tell you. • Frequent arguments, name-calling or threats • Leaving a dependent person alone for long periods of time But How DoYou Know If It Is Abuse? It may be difficult to determine that abuse is taking place. Every situation is different. A warning sign does not automatically mean abuse is happening. Ask questions, seek advice from experts on abuse, avoid judgment and be respectful.Trust your instincts. itsnotright.ca/how-can-you-identify-and-help-older-adults-at-risk OVERCOMEYOUR HESITATIONTO HELP Concerns It’s a private matter and none of my business. It is not a private matter when someone is being hurt. Abuse causes great harm. It’s everyone’s business. I don’t know what to say. You can say that you care and are concerned. Listening is important, too. Doing nothing leaves the person alone in a situation that may get worse if there is no help. Speak one-to-one with the person being abused, away from the person who might be abusive. Let the police know if you receive threats. I’m afraid of getting involved. I might make things worse. Points to Consider
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