Saskatchewan Federation of Police Officers 111 IMPACT ON CHILDREN In spite of their parents’ attempts to shield their children from the violence in the family, children usually know it is occurring and are affected by it. It often threatens their sense of stability and security, and their reaction is expressed in different ways; for example, some children become clingy and others more withdrawn. Being exposed to domestic violence after their parents separate can cause short- and long-term emotional, behavioural, and developmental problems such as anxiety, violence to others, developmental delays, irregular school attendance, and inappropriate sexual behaviour. As they grow up, children may also copy their parents’ pattern in their own relationships, thus continuing the cycle of violence. Watching, hearing, or knowing their mother is being abused may threaten children’s sense of stability and security. •Children may have emotional and behavioural difficulties •Children may have flashbacks, nightmares and constant or extreme worry about possible danger •Children living with domestic abuse are at higher risk of experiencing physical injury or physical and emotional abuse • Children may experience strong mixed feelings toward their violent parent so that affection exists along with feelings of resentment and disappointment. The effects of violence, verbal abuse, and victim blaming may cause children to see their mother as helpless, downtrodden, stupid and unworthy of respect. •Children may see her as an acceptable target of abuse. •Children may assume the role of the abuser and be violent towards the mother, sometimes to win the approval of the absent father. This is more common in boys and most often after separation. The children may be used by the abuser to hurt or manipulate the mother. The abuser may vie for children’s loyalty by making his home a fun place with no rules, permit activities disapproved of by the mother (such as junk food or violent videos), and try to turn the children against their mother. The abuser may interfere with the mother/child relationship by keeping the mother from comforting a distressed child or stop the children from participating in extra-curricular activities to keep the mother socially isolated. The abuser may blame the mother for the separation and get a child to pressure the mother to get back together, or use a child to communicate with or spy on the mother. å
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